Why Did People Kill Each Other Before Cell Phones?

Loud man on cell: Yeah, 800,000 dollars. But let's just keep this between ourselves, okay?

Packed Commuter Train
Toronto, Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Posted on January 24, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Money, Questions, Train

Tonight's Lifetime Movie: The Thais That Bi

Asian chick: I'm going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren't all Thai women bisexual?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Shringle

Posted on January 24, 2009
Asians, Default, Geography, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, New Jersey, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

After I Rolled Your Lungs and Smoked the Tar Out of Them

Nurse #1 (during break): I hope you don't mind, I took one of your cigarettes from your purse because I was really craving one.
Nurse #2: it's no problem. (pause) Wait. Was it my last one?
Nurse #1: Yeah…is that a problem?
Nurse #2 (furious): Are you fucking kidding me?!
Nurse #1: Yeah, yeah, relax! I was just kidding. There's two more in there.
Nurse #2: Oh my god. Don't joke about things like that.
Nurse #1 (nervously): Hahaha. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't scared for my life just now.
Nurse #2 (seriously): And I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't thinking of places to hide your body.

Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York

Overheard by: molly guns

Posted on January 23, 2009
Default, Fears, New York, Nurses, Questions, Violence, Wishes

And Yet, the Unexamined Ring Is Not Worth Wearing

Girl sucking down Smirnoff Ice: The longer I look at my engagement ring, the smaller the diamond gets…

Berklee Performing Arts Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on January 23, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Massachusetts, Relationships, Sensory experiences

On Water?

Girl #1: You don't even like Jesus.
Girl #2: I don't like Jesus, but I like the way he walks.

San Francisco, California

Posted on January 23, 2009
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Jesus, Names, San Francisco

And Be Sure to Return Your Babies to the Full Upright Position Before Landing

Airplane pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.

Airport
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: nicole

Posted on January 22, 2009
Advice, Airports & flights, Default, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Pilots, Public transportation

…of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on January 22, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, New Hampshire, Old folks, Politics, Restaurants, Women

The Good News Is, the Smell of Poop Makes Me Read

Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.

Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana

Posted on January 22, 2009
Books, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Names, Poop, Questions, Restaurants

Though Dancing on the Altar Was My Idea

Girl #1, after hearing embarrassing story: Yeah, that reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Vatican for being a whore.
Girl #2: Seriously? Kicked out?
Girl #1: It was my dad's fault, though. He told me I could wear my short skirt.

Thai Restaurant
Boone, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on January 22, 2009
Clothes, Default, Family ties, Girls, North Carolina, Questions, Religion, Restaurants

Perfect for an Institution of Higher Learning

Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!

Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Suzz

Posted on January 21, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Maladies, Teachers, Weirdness

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