Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!
Denver, Colorado
Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I'm sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I'm sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don't…ummmm, moving on…
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Suit on cell: I don’t know much about this party he’s throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.
Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Amy
Woman screaming into phone: You need to chill the fuck out!
San Francisco, California
Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?
Orlando, Florida
Teen girl #1: Ugh, there are so many mosquitoes here.
Teen girl #2: Quick! Get in the sun! They can't bite you if you're in the sun!
Teen girl #1, after pause: Are you thinking of vampires?
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!
Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado
20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.
University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri
Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn’t get it up, so we just watched Schindler’s List instead.
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