Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!
St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois
Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter
Girl to friend: So, you told him you were a nun and couldn’t have friends? That’s so mean!
Chic-Fil-A
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: jaye
Teacher, incredulously: You never read Harold and the Purple Crayon?!
Student: Well, sorry, I was reading Machiavelli.
http://overheardinhighschool.blogspot.com/
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Suit: Yeah, right, I’ve got a better chance of shaking hands with the Lord… And I’m a Jew.
Keene, New Hampshire
Asian girl: I hate being Asian!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/29/asians-of-the-jewish-persuasion/
Overheard by:
Guy on phone: I don’t vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot… Well, yeah, if it was ‘Killer,’ then I’d definitely vote for him.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/06/but-would-you-vote-for-pokey.html
Overheard by:
Coworker #1: I don’t even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don’t, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.
Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: also interested
Chatty chick: … And he called me a drunk! I mean, I am a drunk, but I’m a functional drunk. I told him everyone loves drunks but nobody loves a crackhead… I don’t even care if I get a beer belly! Someone will still love me and rub my beer belly!
22 Fillmore bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Guy in crowd evacuated from theater due to fire alarm: This is all a marketing trick… Just watch — any minute now one of those fire trucks is going to transform!
Transformers showing, AMC Theatre
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: JoBell
