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20-something guy on cell: And it would have a sign that says, “welcome, groundhogs.”

Provo, Utah

Girl #1: Do you think anyone’s like… Actually a good person?
[long pause]Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.

Drew University
Madison, New Jersey

Girl to guy: Do you really not know what a vagina sounds like?

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Sean Mc

Tram driver to very black coworker: Have you been on vacation again? You've got a great tan going on!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Dan Sebastian

Two-year-old: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…
Mother, trying to talk to her friend: What?!
Two-year-old, thrusting pizza at her: Blow me!
Mom’s friend: Well, that’s one for the baby book.

Pizza Hut
Maryland

Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!

The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida

Woman: Shhhh, people are sleeping. Not everybody wants to hear about Mormon underpants.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Professor: Have any of you been hurt by love? [Class is silent, and professor cackles maniacally] Hahaha, ohhh, it’s coming.

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It’s Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!

Target
Traverse City, Michigan

Announcement: There's a gray car parked outside, four feet into the street.
Older woman: It's mine. I don't park cars; I just sort of abandon them.

Portsmouth, Virginia