Drinking & drunks

Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club–gettin' drunk? (laughs)

Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Mistopher

Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html

Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.

Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]

Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too

Man, indicating the used wedding dress he's wearing: This was the best $35 I've ever spent. I mean, I could have spent it on Jägermeister!

Old Railroad Square
Santa Rosa, California

Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!

Toronto, Canadia

Youngish mom, enthusiastic: I need shot glasses for work!
Eight-year-old son, excited: I want a shot glass!!

Gift Shop
Branson, Missouri

Girl, joking: I love when girls are walking around drunk with eye makeup smeared around their faces.
Guy: Yeah, those are the ones I try to take home.
Girl: What?
Guy: Do you really think I go around looking for girls with good personalities?

Iowa City, Iowa

Brunette at party: We need more vodka!
Blonde: I have Ativan.

San Francisco, California

Drunk guy: That hurt so much — like accidentally stapling your tongue to the wall.

São Paulo
Brazil

Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn't like to ask, to be honest. Would've been a savage souvenir, though.

UCC Campus
Ireland