Drinking & drunks

Drunk girl #1: (blows kiss to construction worker)
Drunk girl #2: You *so* just made his day!
Construction worker: Slut.

Exhibition Street
Melbourne, Australia

Girl to friend: I'm not an alcoholic.
Friend: I'm not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!

Austin, Texas

35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that's like. You're turning 30, you need a man, what's a woman at 30? You're alone!
28-year-old woman: You're having a midlife crisis. Women don't get those. I'm there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you're a terrible drunk.”
35-year-old man: You'd do that for me?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Matt

Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

California blonde: Ohmigod, I wonder what their waxing is like in France?
California brunette: I dunno… I once waxed it all off, though.
California blonde: Really? How? I've only waxed my bikini line.
California brunette: I'd just had three glasses of wine and one of those waxing pots, because my dad's a hairdresser.

Paris
France

Overheard by: Freedom Waxing!

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.

University of Delaware

Overheard by: what???

Little nine-year-old kid with megaphone: You are going to go to hell, you know! The Apocalypse is coming! Are you ready? If you are drinking, you are a bad mother!
Army man #1, standing nearby: Do we have permission to fire?
Army man #2: I wish.

The Kentucky Derby

Overheard by: Kdub-ya

Get Off That Muffin for a Sec.

Guy #1, smashing grapes: I'm making wine.
Guy #2: That's not how you make wine.
Guy #3: Yeah, you need yeast. Hey, Melissa, come here.

Maryland

Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.

Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me