Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!
Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Civil procedure professor: Don't you sometimes think this class would be better if we were all a little inebriated?
Law School
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: I was sooo drunk. I woke up and there was shit all over the rug.
Girl #2: That's not good.
Girl #1: Yeah, I'm like disgusted with myself.
University of Delaware
Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk–that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family…
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!
Neptune City, New Jersey
Girl: I haven't drank since New Year's.
Friend: That was yesterday, Tina*.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Teen guy: Yeah, we got like, so wasted!
Teen girl #1: It was great, yeah. We got so high.
Teen girl #2: Where did you guys get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: What?
Teen girl #2: If you guys were getting high, where did you get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: That's drunk. You get high off weed.
Teen girl #2: Oh. Okay. Then, where'd you get that?
Teen guy: My sister. She's sixteen!
Teen girl #2: Can't you get high off books?
Teen guy: What?
Teen girl #2: Cause, can't, like…books get you high?
Teen girl #1: What?
Library
East Vancouver, BC
Canadia
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won’t even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy #1, walking into beer garden: What does “drunk in public” mean exactly?
Guy #2: I think it's kind of self-explanatory.
Columbia, Missouri
