The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.

Bus
Dallas, Texas

Posted on May 6, 2018
Bus, Couples, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Money, Questions, Texas

What Happens When You're Raised by an Old Lady with a Lot Of Pills

Young boy: Good gracious, I'm high!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on February 17, 2018
Drugs, Etiquette, Guys, Michigan, Weirdness, Words

Better Than Our Current Strategy in the Middle East

Crazy hobo, walking in office: Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Give every male one shot of ecstasy a day from the time they are seven to seventy, and that will end all the violence!

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: follylolly

Posted on January 9, 2018
Age and ageing, Arizona, Crazies, Drugs, Hobos, Violence, Weirdness

Which Was Also Wrong, But Seemed So Right at the Time

Girl, about test: Um, I got number 34 right and it's marked wrong!
Rest of class: Yeah.
Professor: I know. I already gave you all credit. Just ignore that, it must be some leftover meth use from my college years.

Auburn, Alabama

Posted on December 9, 2017
Alabama, Class, Drugs, Education, Memory lane, Students, Teachers

It’d Be a Match Made in Heaven If She’d Only Stop Stealing My Watch

Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!

Open Bar
San Diego, California

Posted on September 30, 2017
BJs, California, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Strangers

“Remember?” Are You Fucking Kidding?

Guy sitting on bench: So can I borrow your crack pipe tomorrow?
Girl sitting next to him: No, it's dirty, remember? I still need to wash it out.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Travis

Posted on September 29, 2017
Arizona, Drugs, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests

In Cambridge? Perish the Thought.

Girl to friend: We're under a bridge! I feel like a crack dealer.

Midsummer Common
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Anti-Math

Posted on August 21, 2017
Crimes, Drugs, Friends, Girls, Massachusetts, Stupidity

…To Paraphrase Nietzsche

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret