Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, “Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?” What a retard!
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
Chunky drunken woman shouting to friend and waving her arms wildly: I don't want no peepshow! I wanna dildo!
Downtown Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Bowtie Daddy
Drunk guy: Excuse me assholes, pregnant woman coming through.
Drunk pregnant wife: I fell down the stairs yesterday, my baby is like one of the warriors from 300.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: MN
Assumed alcoholic: You didn't have alcohol. One beer isn't alcohol. Six beer is alcohol!
St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it's like Swiss cheese, okay? All the women I've ever slept with are like Swiss cheese.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325420800/aged-and-full-of-holes.html
Overheard by: wow, where do you pick up girls?
Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Drunk girl: I hear Michael Caine peeing!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Underage drunk girl in bathroom to another: Do you need me to wipe?
Varsity Theatre
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
