Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Drunk girl: I hear Michael Caine peeing!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Underage drunk girl in bathroom to another: Do you need me to wipe?
Varsity Theatre
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
Drunk girl #1: You get to hook up with all the guys walking around clapping to the music.
Drunk girl #2: That's fine! I like the clap!
Beverly, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sam-a-lamb
Drunk girl to another drunk girl puking at the curb: Girl, it's okay girl. You're still cute, girl.
Greenville, South Carolina
Drunk girl #1: That's the first men's bathroom I've ever been in that didn't have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!
Lincoln, Nebraska
Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I'm looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?
Carlton
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: itookherhome
