Family ties

Girl with bright green hair: My whole family likes him, except for me.
Guy with dreadlocks: Tell them you'll go for him if he wipes off the chrome makeup and stops wearing a black latex trench coat in the summer.

Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: Nina

60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.

San Francisco, California

Girl to family: Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Kid next to girl: But I'm Jewish!

Magic Kingdom
Orlando, Florida

50-something woman on bus: ..fishnet stockings, a skirt that barely covered *something,* and a bustier. I looked up, and it was my daughter.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/06/what-party-was-mom-at.html

Overheard by: mehitabel

Three-year-old: I have two daddies! I have two daddies!
Irritated mother, dragging child out of store: Come on.

Target
Merced, California

Overheard by: oh. my. god.

Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites… Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh…

Sacramento, California

Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.

Park
California

Daughter: Come look at this booth, mom!
Mom: Just a second.
Daughter: Please, mom!
Mom: Ugh, I have like five things to keep track of, one of which is your two siblings.

Earth Day Celebration
Gresham, Oregon

Drunk lady: So, like, I haven’t been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You’re serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don’t think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It’s my New Year’s resolution.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aayin