Three-year-old: I have two daddies! I have two daddies!
Irritated mother, dragging child out of store: Come on.
Target
Merced, California
Overheard by: oh. my. god.
Three-year-old: I have two daddies! I have two daddies!
Irritated mother, dragging child out of store: Come on.
Target
Merced, California
Overheard by: oh. my. god.
Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites… Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh…
Sacramento, California
Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.
Park
California
Daughter: Come look at this booth, mom!
Mom: Just a second.
Daughter: Please, mom!
Mom: Ugh, I have like five things to keep track of, one of which is your two siblings.
Earth Day Celebration
Gresham, Oregon
Drunk lady: So, like, I haven’t been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You’re serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don’t think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It’s my New Year’s resolution.
St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aayin
Girl #1: I wish we had the same size feet.
Girl #2: Well, it's your fault.
Girl #1: How is it my fault? It's not like one day I woke up and was like, “yo Jesus, make my feet three sizes bigger than my sister's.”
Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: greg
Guy to girl: I know these people out in Colorado, and they're like totally brother and sister, and they're married! I mean, they had to sign something saying they'd never have children, but they're totally married!
Nightclub Bathroom
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk…
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom…
University of Virginia
Wife: Oh, my cousin Danielle just had her baby!
Husband: You have a cousin Danielle?
Mount Vernon, New York
Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
