Very tall woman: I never hear you talk about your uncle. Is he dead?
Short man: No, he's still alive, but he's a Nazi.
Very tall woman: Ha ha.
Short man: No, really. He's a Nazi. He was in the SS and everything.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Creepster #1: You know what’s really hot?
Creepster #2: What?
Creepster #1: Sniffing a sexy chick’s underwear.
Creepster #2: Yeah, man.
Creepster #1: So you do it, too? I do it after sex when she leaves the room.
Creepster #2: Yeah, me, too… But usually it’s my mom’s underwear, so my girlfriend doesn’t get weirded out.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/05/oedipus-man-what-the-fuck-i-thought-we-talked-about-this/
Young woman #1: And I was like, “No, dude who's two years older than me, I'm not 16. Nice mandals.”
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I'm really sorry.
Nail Salon
Napa, California
Man pushing his mother in wheelchair: It's all designed to kill you, mother.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Weird kid: Your momma's so fat that… Chuck Norris. I win.
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Girl: And I was all “his mom is a slut” I mean, she sleeps with everyone.
Boy: Don't talk about my mom that way.
Girl: Why not? I mean, she's my mom, too.
Boy: No, she's not.
Girl: Well, you never know! You weren't there!
San Antonio, Texas
Drunk girl: I have two sisters. One goes to UPenn, she's really smart. The other one goes to Drexel, she's not very smart…
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Student: Because my dad didn't consider mac and cheese or ground beef as food that you could chew.
Biola University
La Mirada, California
Overheard by: lydia parsons
Drunk girl: I think… If I didn't have a family I would be a porn star.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Happy, 30-something Indian suit, on phone in check-out line: Yes. Yes! She will be my sugar momma and you will be my wife. (pause) My sugar momma!
Wegmans, Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
