Trendy girl: Yeah, so like, the mom and her daughter went and got abortions together.
Town Center
Sugar Land, TX
Trendy girl: Yeah, so like, the mom and her daughter went and got abortions together.
Town Center
Sugar Land, TX
Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!
Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Cols
Emo high school girl to friend: He's kind of like the replacement parent for kids with delinquent parents…only he has sex with you and 10 of your friends.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CK
Southern stewardess: In case of a water landing occurring in between Tucson and Las Vegas… (pause) If you are traveling with a spouse or ex-wife be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first so that you have an excuse to leave them on their own.
(later)
Southern stewardess: There are six bathrooms on this Boeing 747, feel free to use any of them if you don't like my jokes. (pause) Oh, and if you have any questions don't ask me, I'm new here.
Flight 280
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: kat
Hipster: So my girlfriend was sketching me naked when I went home. So I was sitting there, you know… naked. And then her parents walked in.
Boston, Massachusetts
20-something girl (stocking groceries): Oh! I remember when my mom used to make it for me. It was delicious. She made it while I was pregnant… I'd eat it and every morning I'd throw it all back up. It was still delicious coming back up!
Norwalk, California
Overheard by: who wishes he hadn't heard it while grocery shopping
Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.
Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas
Man to date: Kim Jong-il is one. Your stepfather is another.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Joy
Girl #1: So then my mom turns to me and says “You're waiting till marriage before you have sex? What if it's really bad sex?”
Girl #2: If you really love the person it won't be bad.
Girl #1: My thinking exactly! But then my sister pipes up “She can just have an affair for good sex… like you, mom!”
Escondido, California
