…So, Uh, Wanna Talk About Your Period?

Man: So how's your baby?
Young woman: Great. He's three months old now, so he's no longer just a glorified fetus! He has emotions, and everything!
(pause)
Man, awkwardly: Oh. Huh, how about that?

Mohonk Resort
New Paltz, New York

Overheard by: Ali

Posted on August 17, 2009
Feelings, Guys, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Questions

Except No One's Posing As Gay

Woman, waiting for Two Gentlemen of Verona to begin: This is one of Shakespeare's comedies, right?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Someone will cross-dress, there will be mistaken identity, and love triangles, and everything will turn out well. All Shakespeare comedies have the same plot.
Friend: Yeah, pretty much.
Woman: They're all just episodes of Three's Company.

Boulder, Colorado

Posted on August 16, 2009
Books, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Feelings, Friends, Questions, Relationships, TV shows, Women

Are We Late to the Idiom Party or Something?

College therapist to class: Now take deep, slow breaths. We don't want stress to take over, because stress means purple elephants.

Marquette, Michigan

Posted on August 5, 2009
Animals, Employees, Feelings, Michigan, Students, Weirdness, Wishes

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

NewsFlash: Craig Kilborn Lends Name to Chewable Prozac.

Little boy in handicapped stall: I like you… I like you, Craig… You relax me.

Ladies Room, Barnes & Noble
Saugus, Massachusetts

Posted on July 28, 2009
Feelings, Kids, Massachusetts, Names, Pee, Poop, Stores, Weirdness

From Stephen King's The Passion Of Christine

Little girl: Where is Jesus?
Bored babysitter: Umm, I don't know… In your heart?
Little girl: Well, then guess what?
Bored babysitter: What?
Little girl: I'm going to punch him! (starts punching herself in the heart)

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 18, 2009
Babysitters, Body parts, Canadia, Feelings, Jesus, Kids, Questions, Violence

An Excerpt from How I Knew I Was Gay

Tween: Glitter isn't a color, it's an emotion.

Perth
Australia

Posted on July 15, 2009
Australia, Compare and contrast, Fashion, Feelings, Tweens

I've Forbidden It from Watching Terms Of Endearment

Queer, after being rushed to play Scrabble: You don't understand what it's like having all vowels!
Drunk girl: You don't understand what it's like having a vagina, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emotional vagina.

Long Beach, California

Overheard by: pucewoman

Posted on June 29, 2009
California, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Games, Girls, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Vagina, Words

For Some Weird Reason I Can't Keep Them, Though.

High school kid to another, on bus: I'm all sensitive and shit, that's why I get all the bitches.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Bus Boy

Posted on June 22, 2009
Bragging, Feelings, Frat boy types, Pennsylvania, Sex, Stupidity

Our Mental Instability Is the Glue That Binds Our Friendship, Sadie.

Purple-haired girl on swing: I love the swings. When I was a kid I used to just sit on them for hours, having panic attacks.
Punk girl on swing: Holy fuck, you too!?

Bakersfield, California

Posted on June 17, 2009
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Memory lane, Punks

Feelings

Are We Late to the Idiom Party or Something?