Woman to companion, while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. Otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/337547794/that-would-have-been-so-inconvienent-for-you.html
Overheard by: …you're kind of a bitch
Little girl to mother, passing brand new cherry red Porsche Carrera GT convertible: Mama, why is everyone looking at that car?
Mother: Because it's very special.
Little girl: Can I get one?
Mother: Only if you marry well, dear.
Durham, North Carolina
Employee #1: It's been such a slow day. I feel like I've been here forever.
Employee #2: I know, right?
Employee #1: How about you? Today been slow for you too?
Employee #3: Nope. I discovered time travel.
Hardware Store
Agoura Hills, California
Mom to two little kids sitting directly behind her on the train: Do you feel a little bit better now that you've got slight independence?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: They were the best behaved children there that day.
Studious student: You know she would tell her students that she's far too sick to make it out to campus, and then curl up in a ball on her couch with a cup of tea so she can watch the rain fall and weep.
Virginia Commonwealth University
Girl, crying or laughing: I just can't believe you love me; I have shown up on your doorstep so fucking wasted.
Guy: Baby, you found a plastic fork in your panties! It's okay! Anyway, it was not one of your better nights.
Girl: Actually, it was one of my better nights.
Mission District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Judylicious
Disgruntled hobo outside dollar store: All anyone ever thinks about is “Do I still love him?” and “What happened to your teeth?” That don't make no sense!
Los Angeles, California
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
