Professor: How do you feel about presenting?
Student: Nervous. I don't like talking in front of people.
Professor: These aren't people, these are students!
Students: (silence)
Professor: That's not a nice thing to say. You can't believe I just said that, can you?
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CR
Scenester: I hate my life!
Random passer-by: You have cool socks, though.
Munich, Germany
Barista #1: Katie, can you make one more tall Americano?
Barista #2: Katie, can you make one black straight boy love me?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rook
Ditzy girl: I was so scared! Like, really, really scared. I was like: “please be a virgin, please be a virgin!”
Eugene, Oregon
College student: I think I hate sleep more than I hate Snapple.
University of Delaware
Male student: Brokeback Mountain was a good movie. Did you see it?
Female student: No. I heard it was sad. I don't really want to be sad.
Male student: It was pretty sad…but you know, like *good* sad. Like, Titanic sad.
Female student: Yeah?
Male student: Yeah. It basically was Titanic, except instead of a boat, it was a horse.
Female student: Huh. Maybe I *will* see it.
Southern California
Girl #1: Are you excited?
Girl #2: About what?
Girl #1: About everything!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I'm always excited!
Christchurch
New Zealand
History prof: This is the toughest late policy I've ever developed. And…it makes me feel good inside.
Mal-U
Canadia
Overheard by: Punctual student
Blonde American student: For some reason, when I get high I get paranoid that everyone around me is jerking off!
University of London
England
Overheard by: The Friend
