Unsociable Wankers, the British

Blonde American student: For some reason, when I get high I get paranoid that everyone around me is jerking off!

University of London
England

Overheard by: The Friend

Posted on April 3, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drugs, England, Feelings, Masturbation, Students, Weirdness

…And Scuttling Away, Like a Hermit Crab.

Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.

American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa

Posted on April 1, 2009
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Feelings, Girls, Questions, Stores, Vagina, Washington, Words

Yes and Yes!

Female employee, seeing lunch being prepared: Oh, Kielbasa! I love Kielbasa! You know how I like my Kielbasa?
(pause)
Fireman #1: On your knees?
Fireman #2: In your mouth?

Maine

Posted on March 20, 2009
Body parts, Default, Employees, Feelings, Food, Girls, Guys, Maine, Mouth, Questions

As I Told Grandma at Grandpa's Funeral

Girl: I hate being single.
Friend: You're not single, you're just alone.

Eastern Arizona College

Overheard by: Lura

Posted on March 20, 2009
Arizona, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Relationships, Words

Isn't That Like Telling a Starving Person “I Am Stuffed“?

Hot girl to less than hot guy: It gets annoying having guys hitting on you all the time.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 20, 2009
Default, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Sexuality, Washington

Dakota Fanning, Parker Posey and Carlos Mencia Failed to Light Up the Small Screen

Young daughter to white mother: You fell in love with a Mexican?
White mom: Yes, I did.
Mexican dad: Unfortunately.

El Fenix
Texas

Posted on March 19, 2009
Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Mexicans, Moms, Questions, Restaurants, Texas

Like All Parents, We Were Hoping for a Little Lesbian

Seven-year-old-daughter: I'm sorry, daddy, but I love crafts!
Father: I know…can't you find another hobby?
Seven-year-old-daughter: No, daddy, it's going to be just like at camp!
Father: Yeah, your mother and I should have switched you at the hospital.

Michael's
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Diana

Posted on March 19, 2009
Dads, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Kids, New Jersey, Questions

Terrorist!

Girl #1, walking out of exam: I'm free! I'm finally free!
Girl #2: I hate your freedom. I want to punch your freedom in the face!

Auckland
New Zealand

Posted on March 17, 2009
Body parts, Default, Feelings, Girls, Happiness, New Zealand

In High School I Got So Depressed, I Dated Girls

Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Big Al

Posted on March 15, 2009
California, Candy, Cell phones, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Guys, Queers

Plus, Concrete Shoes Are the New Black

Drunk woman #1: I shoulda been in the mafia.
Drunk woman #2: Why?
Drunk woman #1: I hate loose ends.

Bar
Louisiana

Overheard by: soprano

Posted on March 11, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Feelings, Louisiana, Questions, Wishes, Women

Feelings