Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Suit: So yeah, I found out how my boss's boss takes his tea, and I took him a cup this morning, along with a muffin.
Non-suit: And did you remember to take a napkin to wipe his feces from your nose?
London
England
Overheard by: Eastender
Restaurant owner: Hey! I want you to come in here — I got something that, when you put it in your mouth, it’s gonna knock your socks off.
Regular: Oh, yeah? Is it a food or a drink?
Restaurant owner: Well, both, actually…
4th Street
Rochester, Michigan
Girl to friend: And then he said “do you like diapers with your bangers and mash?”
After Trax
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: I know you're watching
Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.
Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Pat Trenner
Hipster girl: I don't know, she just smells amazing. Her entire face smells like corn tortilla!
American Apparel
San Francisco, California
Waiter: Does anyone have a green Firebird?
20-something lesbian: I do, why?
Waiter: It's on fire in the parking lot!
(20-something lesbian and girlfriend go outside and return ten minutes later)
Waitress: Is everything okay?
20-something lesbian, matter of factly: Yeah, my car just caught fire. Can we have another plate?
Girlfriend, unaffected: Also, she ordered tempura.
Sushi Garden
Tucson, Arizona
Guy: But I hate wearing condoms! I can’t feel anything. I might as well put my dick in a cereal box.
Girl: I think my vagina is a bit different from a cereal box.
Dude, excitedly: If your vagina had cereal in it, I’d eat you out all the time!
Davidson, North Carolina
Student whose dessert slid off the plate: Nice try, cheesecake. You’ve only postponed the inevitable.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: MrCandey
