Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.
Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!
University of Florida
Guy: I don’t understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It’s hard to explain… It’s like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/not-to-be-confused-with-pork-barrel.html
Cultured student, before exam week: I'm drinking more Earl Grey than Jean-Luc Picard this week.
High School
Little Rock, Arkansas
Waiter: … Chicken nachos all on her butt cheeks!
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Nic
Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329248039/nothing-to-be-concerned-about.html
Overheard by: alexis
Girl: Do you have selective hearing?
Guy: No, I just really like this sandwich.
St. Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Suit #1: I honestly think one of our world's biggest problems right now is corn tortillas falling apart.
Suit #2: You're so right. I can't believe I never thought about this before.
Starbucks
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Katlin Sehres
Latina: So, this one time I was giving this guy a blowjob, but I just ate a tuna fish sandwich like 20 minutes before, and the whole time I’m like, ‘Don’t shoot that shit in my mouth ’cause I’ll puke,’ right? Then he totally came in my mouth!
White dude: Haha, nice!
Latina: Naw, man — it was nasty! I fuckin’ puked tuna fish all over this dude’s dick and balls. It got all in his pubes and everything!
White dude: Wow.
Latina: But yeah, I give good head.
Buffalo Billiards
Washington, DC
Overheard by: procrastiNate
Intellectual girl: Ugh, water and chocolate do not mix.
Bimbette hipster: Yeah, and neither do hot dogs!
Danville Area Community College
Danville, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t hear this anywhere else but Danville
