…As Expressly Stated in the Terms Of My Employment.

Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!

University of Florida

Posted on August 20, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Florida, Food, Gifts, Girls, Insults, On the phone

Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural

Guy: I don’t understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It’s hard to explain… It’s like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/not-to-be-confused-with-pork-barrel.html

Posted on August 17, 2016
Eavesdrop DC, Food, Friends

The Most High-Brow Reference to Be Made in Arkansas

Cultured student, before exam week: I'm drinking more Earl Grey than Jean-Luc Picard this week.

High School
Little Rock, Arkansas

Posted on August 14, 2016
Arkansas, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, TV shows

Aaron’s Messy Handwriting Has Resulted in Many Botched Orders

Waiter: … Chicken nachos all on her butt cheeks!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 25, 2016
Ass, Blue collar, Default, Food, Gripes, Restaurants, Virginia

And Hides It under All the Ruffles

Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329248039/nothing-to-be-concerned-about.html

Overheard by: alexis

Posted on May 22, 2016
Clothes, Clothing, Food, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Overheard in Minneapolis, Women

What Orgies at Nursing Homes Sound Like

Girl: Do you have selective hearing?
Guy: No, I just really like this sandwich.

St. Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on April 23, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Food, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions

When Fat Monsters Have Lunch

Suit #1: I honestly think one of our world's biggest problems right now is corn tortillas falling apart.
Suit #2: You're so right. I can't believe I never thought about this before.

Starbucks
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: Katlin Sehres

Posted on April 5, 2016
Food, Philosophy, Stupidity, Texas

All I Asked Was, “Can I Buy You a Drink?”

Latina: So, this one time I was giving this guy a blowjob, but I just ate a tuna fish sandwich like 20 minutes before, and the whole time I’m like, ‘Don’t shoot that shit in my mouth ’cause I’ll puke,’ right? Then he totally came in my mouth!
White dude: Haha, nice!
Latina: Naw, man — it was nasty! I fuckin’ puked tuna fish all over this dude’s dick and balls. It got all in his pubes and everything!
White dude: Wow.
Latina: But yeah, I give good head.

Buffalo Billiards
Washington, DC

Overheard by: procrastiNate