She Keeps a Cyanide One in Her Desk for Emergencies

Student: What are you eating?
Teacher: My bracelet… it’s made of anti-depressants.

Tucson, Arizona

Posted on December 19, 2016
Arizona, Clothes, Drugs, Food, Mental illnesses, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

So Just Have a Big Spoonful of That Green Paste

Child, as food is placed in front of him: But Mommy, I don’t wanna eat Nemo!

Sushi restaurant
Northern Virginia

Posted on October 28, 2016
Food, Kids, Virginia

Regardless, I'll Never Look at Spaghetti and Meatballs the Same Way Again

Guy #1: I can seriously never eat Cup noodles again.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because yesterday I was taking a dump and I felt it come out but I never heard it hit the water, so I looked down and it's dangling by a noodle!
Guy #2: Is that even possible?

California

Posted on October 16, 2016
California, Default, Feelings, Food, Guys, Questions, Weirdness

The Perils Of Undercooked Turducken

Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin' up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.

Louisiana

Overheard by: 2 tables over

Posted on September 29, 2016
Ass, Birds, Food, Guys, Louisiana, On the phone

But, Oddly Enough, Nine Months Later Sean Preston Was Born

Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.

Flight over Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on September 15, 2016
Airports & flights, Default, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Feelings, Food, Georgia, Pregnancy, Relationships, Smoking, Women

…As Expressly Stated in the Terms Of My Employment.

Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!

University of Florida

Posted on August 20, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Florida, Food, Gifts, Girls, Insults, On the phone

Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural

Guy: I don’t understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It’s hard to explain… It’s like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/not-to-be-confused-with-pork-barrel.html

Posted on August 17, 2016
Eavesdrop DC, Food, Friends

The Most High-Brow Reference to Be Made in Arkansas

Cultured student, before exam week: I'm drinking more Earl Grey than Jean-Luc Picard this week.

High School
Little Rock, Arkansas

Posted on August 14, 2016
Arkansas, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, TV shows

Aaron’s Messy Handwriting Has Resulted in Many Botched Orders

Waiter: … Chicken nachos all on her butt cheeks!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 25, 2016
Ass, Blue collar, Default, Food, Gripes, Restaurants, Virginia

And Hides It under All the Ruffles

Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329248039/nothing-to-be-concerned-about.html

Overheard by: alexis

Posted on May 22, 2016
Clothes, Clothing, Food, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Overheard in Minneapolis, Women

Food