Girl: Do you want this in your coffee?
Boy: What is it?
Girl: It's half and half.
Boy: No. I don't know what that is.
Coffee Shop
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Don
Girl: Do you want this in your coffee?
Boy: What is it?
Girl: It's half and half.
Boy: No. I don't know what that is.
Coffee Shop
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Don
Fluffy, bunny-foo-foo white girl to friend after yoga: Bitch, I ain’t eatin’ no biscuits ‘n’ gravy!
Gym
Maryland
Overheard by: amy beth
Eight- year-old girl to parents: Can I pleeeese have a Cinnabon?
Dad: No, you don't need that. Finish your dinner.
Eight- year-old girl: If I don't get a Cinnabon, I'm basically going to kill myself.
Rest Stop
New York Thruway
Overheard by: Karen
Whiny five-year-old: Mama! I'm soooo hungry!
Frustrated mom: Well, I don't care! And do you know why? Nobody ever died from hunger!
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Hot girl in line #1: Oh my god, I was so bad today! I had two whole scoops of ice cream for lunch.
Hot girl in line #2: You better watch it or you're not going to be able to fit into that cocktail dress you're buying.
Fat woman behind them: I fucking hate skinny people!
Department Store
Stockton, California
Boyfriend looking at stone sculpture of camel: Yo, what do camels eat?
Girlfriend: Camels eat people.
Boyfriend: I think they eat grass.
Girlfriend: No. Camels eat people.
Boyfriend, turning to passersby: Excuse me, what do camels eat?
Passerby #1: Uhh…I think they eat plants.
Girlfriend: No! Camels eat people!
Passerby #2: But, look, they don't have any claws or fangs. They can't eat people.
Passerby #1, disgusted: They eat plants.
Girlfriend, scoffing: There's no plants in the desert! That's why they eat people. Camels eat people!
Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Camels should eat some people…
Bogan guy: Oh, I forgot to get you something for dinner tonight.
Bogan girl: I wish I could walk to the shops. It's alright for you, you wanna walk somewhere, you just go.
Bogan guy: You can't go to the shops, it's not safe.
Bogan girl: I really like walking. You know, I just go out on my own, and I'm outside…
Bogan guy: But it's not safe on your own, and it's so far away.
Bogan girl: Yeah, but I really like walking, walking is really cool. I really like it.
(pause).
Bogan girl: So, what, are you gonna have me eat two-minute noodles for dinner?
Bogan guy: For fuck's sake, I don't care what you eat! Walk to the fucking shops if you fucking want to! Just stop your fucking whinging!
Bus
Perth
Australia
Lady: And as soon as the doctor said “stick out your tongue,” she knew her goose was cooked!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Theresa
