Patron: Double cheeseburger and small fries, please.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
Patron: What sizes do you have?
Counter boy: Medium, large and extra large.
Patron: Which size is the smallest?
Counter boy: Medium is the smallest.
Patron: Fine. I'll take the smallest, then.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
McDonald's
Bloomington, Indianapolis
Flight attendant, describing Australia's quarantine practices: And if you do not declare any foodstuff and you get caught you may face on-the-spot fines, or prostitution.
Flight to Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Erik
Random male shopper: We're looking at meat accessories!
Costco
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Anna
Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said “screw it!” and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Dazeys
Male state trooper to female state trooper: At that point they don't even qualify as carrots anymore. They're more like small creatures.
China Harbor
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kim
American man: Fish is good in salad.
Australian man: Fish is great in salad!
American man: Do you even like fish?
Australian man: No.
Harvard Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Mayo hater: If you kill one of my pets I'd be able to forgive you. If you put mayonnaise in my belly button, I would never talk to you again!
Universal Studios
Florida
Asian girl #1, looking at yogurt display: Ten for seven dollars, what is that?
Asian girl #2: I don't know, I don't want to do the math.
Los Angeles, California
Student on phone: Did you know doctors get fifty percent off of Domino's pizzas?
University of Sussex Campus
England
Overheard by: Zaney
Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick… Chiswick… Cheese balls… Cheese balls…balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stefa
