Girls

Teenage girl: I can't figure out if he's gay or straight. Maybe he's, like, an equal-opportunity kind of guy?
20-something girl: Oh yeah, like, “Bring me your penises! Bring me your vaginas! None shall be turned away!”

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Girl to pregnant friend: You're just like Mary, mother of Jesus…except she knew who the father was.

Toronto
Canadia

Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Quazarfreez

Mom: Did you see his armpit?
Teen daughter: No. (pause) Oh, I saw it!
Mom: See? See?

Portland, Oregon

20-something drunk girl, pointing at traffic lights, to friends: Shhhh! We have to be quiet! This is where the dwarf lives!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Guy: Yeah, it’s like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called, like… Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don’t even have those in Boston.

Diner
St. Louis, Missouri

Teenage scene girl: I'm going to American Apparel to apply for a job.
Friend: Do you think you'll get the job?
Teenage scene girl: Yeah, but I don't think my mom will let me.
Friend: Why?
Teenage scene girl: There are lesbians there.

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Girl: Oh my gosh, Brian* went off with the sexual predator dude!
Couple, in unison: Bro rape!

Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York

Chick to others, holding up picture: What about this guy?
Male vice principal, walking by: I'd hit that.

Englewood, Colorado

Blonde 8th grade girl, reading poster about sex offenders: He assaulted her with a battery?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shay loves julia