What's This Baby Poking Out of Me?

Girl on cell: I can't tell if I'm losing weight from softball or gaining weight from being hungry all the time.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on March 13, 2022
Connecticut, Default, Diet & weight, Girls, On the phone, Stupidity

I Also See Many Things That Aren't Actually There

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

Posted on March 10, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Kentucky, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Weirdness

Tonight's Movie: Bend It Like Bitchy

Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on March 9, 2022
Body parts, Default, Friends, Girls, Maryland, Questions, Vagina, Weirdness

Hello? I'm Eating a Cucumber Sandwich With No Crusts!

Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they're cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they're like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they're totally different. Not every phallic-shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: i just came here to clean the air ducts

Posted on March 8, 2022
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Penis, Questions

Consider Your Face Sucked

Boyfriend: If we were in person right now, I would totally suck your face right now.
Girlfriend: We *are* in person.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
(they walk on casually)

Memorial City Mall
Houston, Texas

Posted on March 6, 2022
Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Malls, Sexuality, Stupidity, Texas, Words

And Look at David Hasselhoff.

Cute redhead: I don’t think I could air my laundry in an art show. It seems terribly narcissistic.
Short male companion: A little narcissism never hurt anybody!
Cute redhead: Um, it hurt Narcissus.

London
England

Posted on March 2, 2022
Comebacks, Default, England, Girls, Gripes, Guys

Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues

Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world's problems would be solved.

The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on February 28, 2022
Bars & Clubs, Birds, Default, Georgia, Girls, Guys, Philosophy, Weirdness

Maybe Just Take It to a George Clooney Movie

Girl on cell: We’re going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: K

Posted on February 27, 2022
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, On the phone, San Francisco, Toys, Vagina, Words

Dad's a Committed Mythical Traditionalist

Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.

Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Posted on February 22, 2022
Animals, Dads, Default, Geography, Girls, Hawaii, Kids, Questions, Tourist attractions

Most Emmy Winners Would've Preferred That Too

Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 19, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Food, Girls, Gripes, Grumpies, Massachusetts, Politics

Girls