Girls

Girl: Look, if I buy you an ice cream, will you stop talking about cannibalism?
Guy: Maybe.

Edinburgh
Scotland

Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can't remember his name, he was like “hey, you want some cake?” But I've read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like “no, thanks.”

Christchurch
New Zealand

Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!

College Orientation
Washington State Community College

Girl: Erin's beating people.
Security guard: You're not really beating people, are you?
Erin: It's my birthday. Besides, it was someone I know.

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: girl in the front row

Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That's sort of how it works.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Girl in North Face jacket and Uggs to clone friends: I mean, why couldn't it have been a normal suicide? Like, this week? Really?

Penn State Library
University Park, Pennsylvania

Girl #1: Ew! Are you gonna ask her tonight? You gonna ask her?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Why she has a huge fucking bush!
Girl #2: Oh, for sure!

McGill University
Montreal
Canadia

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.

Movie Theater
Colorado

Girl to friend, walking from their car: Jesus, Amber, nobody thinks you have a penis.

Nashville, Tennessee

Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn’t that hurt your fluffy bits?

Memphis, Tennessee