Loud girl, as rest of the yoga class goes quiet after teacher rings bell: He was so fat I couldn't find his wiener!
Wyoming
Loud girl, as rest of the yoga class goes quiet after teacher rings bell: He was so fat I couldn't find his wiener!
Wyoming
Female college student eating grapes: Look, it's a baby grape. And this one is like a grape fetus.
Roommate: What? Are there flavored fetuses?
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Larissa
Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it’s also high in calories.
Guy: Yes… It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman’s body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: … It produces babies!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Girl #1: So, yeah, I was just going to set the hoover to suck, and use that.
Girl #2: Do hoovers suck?
Oxford
England
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Guy to girl: I just had this overwhelming urge to drink vinegar, and it worked!
University of New Orleans
Louisiana
Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I'm on a first date and I'm really nervous.
Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois
Guy: So they would smuggle one of these toy dogs in their shirt pocket.
Girl: Why don't they just put them in their bras? It's like “yeah, I got a boob job while I was in China.”
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: RU serious
Girl: I didn't say I was a lesbian cyborg, I just said I was a cyborg.
Guy: All cyborgs are lesbians.
Townsville
Australia