Guys

College boy #1: If I were a T-Rex I would fuck shit up.
College boy #2: Yeah, but good luck masturbating.

Hendrix College
Arkansas

Overheard by: College Girl Walking By

Girlfriend to boyfriend: So should I stop peeing in front of you ?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: No, I don't mind. I don't care…just don't let me see you poop, that's just too fucking weird.

Michigan

Overheard by: da da

Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Anne

Male student to another, seriously: So you just came in your pants?

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Troy, New York

Guy to girl: I know about women. I lived with fifteen women. I know when you're going to get your period, and I can tell your bra size just by looking.

Kenosha, Wisconsin

Guy: You know when you do a “Find File” in Windows? Yeah. I want to kill the little animated dog… It bothers me.
Girl: Hahaha… Yeah. It’s better than the paperclip.
Guy: Meh… Only because he doesn’t pop up unexpectedly. Clippy was kind of cool if he weren’t in the way.
Girl: Thats what he wants you to think! He makes you feel bad for hating him!
Guy: Why this makes me want to have an animated kitten running around my desktop, I don’t know. I used to have such a program.
Girl: I had a stripper on my laptop. She danced and stripped whenever music came on.
Guy: You’re such a closet nympho.
Girl: Yeah. For my dreams class, we have to write all our dreams down and share them with the class. Last night I dreamt I was trekking through a jungle in gold prada heels to find my doctor to get an HIV test. I’m not sure I want the class psychoanalyzing that one.

Portland, Maine

Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It’s not good for you.

Eugene, Oregon

Dazed guy: I didn’t know leg hair could get split ends.

Great Mall
Milpitas, California

Drunk man dragging a giant ten-foot stick down the middle of the street: I have to lift this over my head and spin around to see if I will be getting into a pool naked tonight.

Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa

Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn’t expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can’t check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there’s nothing equivalent. There’s no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That’s right. I have slapped lots of asses.

Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!