Guy #1: You gotta clean yo’ fingernails up!
Guy #2: Mmm-hm.
Guy #1: You stop smokin’ crack, you clean yo’ toes up nice, too!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/clean-and-sober.html
Guy #1: You gotta clean yo’ fingernails up!
Guy #2: Mmm-hm.
Guy #1: You stop smokin’ crack, you clean yo’ toes up nice, too!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/clean-and-sober.html
Guy #1, at urinal: That bitch is out of control.
Guy #2, at urinal: Yeah, she’s all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill.
Guy #1: She needs to fuckin’ simmer. Simmer and sauté.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/let-it-go-bobby-flay-just-let-it-go.html
Overheard by: teamcinnamon
Dude #1: … And she was just so sassy!
Dude #2: Don’t say ‘sassy’ — you know what it does to me.
Dude #1: Sssassyyy. [Dude #2 shudders orgasmically.]
Merrill F. West High School
Tracy, California
Guy #1: Me and Jeff and doin’ some drugs tonight. Wanna come?
Guy #2: I don’t do drugs.
Guy #1: You smoked pot with me the other day.
Guy #2: Weed isn’t a drug.
Guy #1: Yes, it is!
Guy #2: No, it’s not… [To passerby] Is weed a drug?
Passerby: Depends.
Holy Trinity Catholic High School
Kanata, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: RG
Man: I’ve got basically everything I need — I’ve got the lentils and the sauce. All I need is the methadone and a babysitter.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Gavin
Man #1: What’s that bruise on your forehead from?
Man #2: Watch out for someone in diapers carrying a mallet.
Man #1: I’ve found that to be sage advice in multiple situations…
Wausau, Wisconsin
Guy #1: Hey, you know what? You know what? Suck my balls.
Guy #2: What if I just stuck a pot over them and banged it with a wooden spoon?
Canton, Missouri
Overheard by: Lynn
Guy: So, I heard your daughter is walking around half-naked. Congratulations!
Harvest Faire
Newport News, Virginia
Dude standing in line: Because when I see Kit Kats, I think home pregnancy tests.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
Dude #1: So, yeah — I woke up last night and I had cramps.
Dude #2: Like a girl?
Dude #1: Yeah, exactly like a girl. They were in that area… You know, that area near your penis but that’s also near your belly button. It has a lot of hair and skin. I dunno.
Dude #2: Whoa, you might have, like, an ovary or something.
Dude #1: I guess anything’s possible.
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel
