Guys

Guy #1: Oh, shit, I almost sat on my nuts! That shit would’ve fucking hurt!
Guy #2: I hate when that happens.
Guy #1: Yeah.

12312 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Discouraged guy to pal: I can’t stop having erections!

St-Jean Street
Old Quebec City
Canadia

Overheard by: My mom u-turned on the sidewalk and started running after him!

Guy #1: What if Heather was a guy?
Guy #2: If Heather was a guy, then I’d be gay.
Guy #3: If I was a guy, then I’d be gay!
Guy #1: … Wait, what?

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Guy #1: Sometimes I pretend I’m gay to get chicks at parties.
Guy #2: Does that really work?
Guy #1: Nah… I mean, it’s worked once, but I’m not sure she was a she.
Guy #2: Sweet! I’ve gotta try that!

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Regular

Guy: No, Derek* is definitely gay.
Girl #1: No, he’s not! He has naked pictures of girls all over his walls and MySpace and everything.
Girl #2: So? You know he only has those because he likes to paint chickens on them!

Seattle, Washington

Dude #1: Do you trim your pubes?
Dude #2: Um, what? No… Why?
Dude #1: I do…
Dude #2: Okay…
Dude #1: And I think I trimmed them too much…
Dude #2: And?
Dude #1: Well, now my dick is itchy…

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: damn hiatus

Guy: I need some food.
Girl: You just had a cigarette!

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana

Dude: Is putting my hand on my balls a sport? Could be.

Subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Shaniqua

College guy: So, are you still a maybe-lesbian?
College girl, shrugging: I like penis much better. Chicks are crazy, but if one licks me, I’m not gonna complain if they’re hot.

University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky

Dude: So, this Oh-di-pus guy killed his dad and married his mom.
Girl: Gross… So, did they do it?
Dude: Oh, yeah.
Girl: Cool.

University of Saskatchewan
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

Overheard by: headshakingprof