Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
Frustrated gamer playing The Legend of Zelda: Did you see that? She's such a slut! Her vagina was just totally up in link's face. And he's like, twelve. Why are women like that all the time?
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: the girl in the corner cramming for finals
Man walking into coffee shop: I need some pantyhose, stat!
Muddy Waters Coffee Shop
Burlington, Vermont
Guy: Man, it’s hotter than my mother-in-law back in ’79. She’s not hot no more.
Harvest Foods
Little Rock, Arkansas
Guy to girl: You know, Mandy Moore made a bad decision going brunette. Now she looks like you, if you were a crack whore.
Oberlin College
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: emily
Blonde girl: I hate horror movies, because then I get scared that those things are going to happen, cause they really do happen.
Teacher: You can't live your life like that! Those things are really rare! Like, I've been in all sorts of sketchy situations, and I'm still here.
Guy: You're just too sheltered.
Teacher: Like, when I was in Rwanda, this guy was giving us a ride and he was like “do you want to stay overnight at my house?” and we were like “okay,” and I immediately regretted that one…
Toronto
Canadia
Guy #1: Is your aunt gonna get a divorce?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Niiiice.
Walton High School
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: nezu!
Girl: Where you going?
Guy: I am gonna go get tested for AIDS!
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, HIV! It's free!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Guy to friend: So now I get text messages from her every day saying she wants to fuck on the hood of my car!
Lehigh University
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Timbo
Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.
University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa
