Guys

30-something #1: Last night I was brushing my hair, cause you know I haven't owned a hair brush in a year… And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-something #2: You are a dirty hippie, you need to use some soap!
30-something #1: I don't like labels, man. I don't have soap.
30-something #2: True, man, labels are whack. But dude, you smell.

Hostel
New Mexico

Overheard by: Alex

Tipsy guy to girl beside him: What are you doing later?
Girl: Going home to Scotchgard my bathrobe.

Duke & Duchess Bar
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Cooper Street Relic

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven't dated a religion major in a long time.

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: dave

College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What's with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she's like six.
College guy: Yeah… I just realized that.

UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

Dude: It’s apropos that she gestated in a FEMA trailer.

State College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: marsupial jones

Guy cuddling his girlfriend: I’m lactating, lactating, lactating!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/last_time_he_answers_an_ad_for.html

Overheard by: quoi?

Casanova: This is a replica of the helmet I wear when I fuck my wife.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: shadow

Roommate on phone: You've gotta get through the ribcage.

University of Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Wondering what they're planning.

20-something girl: If anyone ever punches me, all of the turtles in western Pennsylvania will get together, form a giant stack, and bite that person.
20-something guy: Wow. Like Voltron?
20-something girl: Why did I marry you?
20-something guy: *Because* I say things like that.
20-something girl (sighing): Yeah, you're right.

Walnut St
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania