Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Woman: I'd rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MarthaQ
Young buck #1: Do you want to go out to the track and race?
Young buck #2: I'm not fond of dust baths.
Monroe Community College
Rochester, New York
Guy: You never know, perhaps he'll like it.
Girl, happily: I taste… Horrendous!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Tim
Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I'm not sure if you deserve that.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy #1, carrying case of beer and bag of onions: You know when your aura gets all out of whack?
20-something guy #2, carrying same: Yeah, you just gotta get it back on track!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: wondering if beer and onions will be part of the ritual to restore his aura
Male student: We were learning about harmanfadites in my psych class today.
Female student: What's that?
Male student It's when a person is born with boy and girl parts.
Female student: Nasty.
Male student: Yeah. I was wondering, if two of them have sex, are they both gay? Or lesbians?
Female student: I can't talk about this while I am eating.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Jonson
Little boy, as plane starts its descent: Oh my god! What are going to do? We are going to get stuck in the clouds! Please! Somebody help us! Help!
Dublin
Ireland
