Guys

Guy passing pet store: I need a Labrador. Let's get one.
Girlfriend: What did you do with your old one?
Guy: I don't think you want to know.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: XPIOTOS

Male student: I feel that this case may have been influenced by the fact that…well, people just hate Michael Bolton.

Seton Hall Law School
South Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: he's got a point

Teenage boy surrounded by girls: So, do you guys play the penis game?
(awkward silence)

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353024427/thats-a-pick-up-line-that-will-serve-him-well-for-years.html

Overheard by: no, I don't

Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.

McDonald’s
Escondido, California

Overheard by: DLo

Loud man on payphone: He said they removed something like four pimples from his prostate. What? No! Pimples! Pimples on his prostate!

Florida State Campus

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Exceedingly pale college guy: You can't trust redheads. They don't blink their eyes at the same time.
Exceedingly pale high school guy: (nods in understanding)

Arby's
Tempe, Arizona

Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado

20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn't know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I'd stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: akvinsc

Dude: She fucks like a division one athlete. I swear, I take three shots of whiskey before I go to her place. I need to have the spins so I have any chance of lasting.

Ten Stone
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: johnny

Guy: My life is one giant erection.

Attleboro, Massachusetts