Guys

Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I've never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You're kidding me, right?
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: You're so not getting a blowjob tonight.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: The white boyfriend

Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?

Midlandstech, South Carolina

Guy: That's a cool necklace. What is it?
Girl: Oh, it's Lady Liberty. I'm a libertarian.
Guy: Oh cool. I'm a Virgo.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/05/im-fiscal-sagittarius-but-lean.html

Overheard by: student

Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.

Santa Rosa, California

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan’s daughter was what — 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she’s dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you’re old enough to drive when you’re 16 and you’re old enough to die for your country when you’re 18, then you’re old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I’d take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.

18 bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Are you experience?

Guy: Sometimes I feel like I want to get a steady girlfriend again.
Friend: Whenever I feel like that I just jerk off all over myself and the feeling goes away.

Downtown Post Office
Worcester, Massachusetts

Girl: Why do they have an ambassador to Vatican City?
Guy: Because it’s a country and stuff.
Girl: Do, like, normal people live there?
Guy: I don’t know…
Girl, thoughtfully: It’s a scary place…

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/04/its-scary-because-dan-brown-says-so.html

Overheard by:

Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!

Westport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Elisabeth

Girl: You so should have tested it first.
Guy: I did! I used it on my ass the other day.
Girl: And it didn't burn?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/425989704/want-to-see-it.html

Overheard by: evan.

Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.

Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana