Guys

Crazy man to woman walking to her car: Sir! Sir! There is evidence here that there has been sexual activity in this area!
Woman: (silence)
Crazy man (under breath): Lazy pig.

Parking Garage
Tucson, Arizona

Middle-aged guy to 20-something girl: You could hire chickens, they're not union!

BART
San Francisco, California

Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!

Target
Overland Park, Kansas

Man: I just had a dream where I was stoned, and when I woke up, I couldn't tell if I was stoned or not.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355805032/the-safe-assumption-is-yes.html

Overheard by: jfa

Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Since Apparently Assholism No Longer Qualifies

Guy to another: I don't know what to tell you… If she won't break up with you because you invited her to have a threesome, then tell her that you have some disability… (mumbles) …like, what's that form of autism called? “Asperger syndrome”?

Bar
Austin, Texas

Guy with burger to friend, loudly: Penguins are fish, and fish don't eat fish!

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: kib

Guy passing pet store: I need a Labrador. Let's get one.
Girlfriend: What did you do with your old one?
Guy: I don't think you want to know.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: XPIOTOS

Male student: I feel that this case may have been influenced by the fact that…well, people just hate Michael Bolton.

Seton Hall Law School
South Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: he's got a point

Teenage boy surrounded by girls: So, do you guys play the penis game?
(awkward silence)

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353024427/thats-a-pick-up-line-that-will-serve-him-well-for-years.html

Overheard by: no, I don't