AndNone Of Your Trickery Is Going to Get Me to Admit That We Do

Patron: Double cheeseburger and small fries, please.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
Patron: What sizes do you have?
Counter boy: Medium, large and extra large.
Patron: Which size is the smallest?
Counter boy: Medium is the smallest.
Patron: Fine. I'll take the smallest, then.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.

McDonald's
Bloomington, Indianapolis

Posted on July 14, 2009
Clients, Employees, Food, Indiana, Offers and requests, Questions, Stupidity

Woody Allen Was a Tedious Child

Teacher to four-year-old boy: How do you like your teacher?
Four-year-old boy, frustrated: I don't. She's always yelling at me.
Teacher: Well, it will be okay. At least you'll be going home soon.
Four-year-old boy, throwing hands in the air: No, it won't! It's never going to end!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Education, Indiana, Kids, Students, Teachers

…While the Three Little Pigs Watched Through Binoculars.

Psych professor: Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a sexual encounter.

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana

Posted on July 11, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Education, Indiana, Sex, Singing, Teachers

I Was Gonna Give Up the Baby Anyway

Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: not surprised

Posted on July 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Parenting, Questions, Teens

Just the Check Then?

Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?

Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Deanna Gustav

Posted on June 19, 2009
Black people, Christianity, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

Elizabeth Taylor Would Soon Realize Her Goal

Girl to friend: If I'm 80 and still alive, I'm going to eat the whole world.

South Bend, Indiana

Overheard by: Carole

Posted on June 18, 2009
Age and ageing, Default, Euphemisms, Food, Girls, Indiana

And Then Other Times I Vomit

Drunk guy walking past mirror: Man, sometimes I see myself, and I make myself horny.

Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana

Overheard by: Whitney

Posted on June 17, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Indiana, Sex, Weirdness

With a Little Cinnamon and Some Splenda. What?

Nursing student #1, about absent classmate: If she'd have kept her fucking mouth shut and not been a motherfucking snitch we wouldn't be in this mess!
Nursing student #2: Why'd she snitch on us?
Nursing student #1: I don't know, but she think she the best thing since apple sauce!
(long pause)
Nursing student #1: I really like applesauce!

Marian College
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on May 12, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Indiana, Insults, Mouth, Nurses, Questions, Students

Ooo, Let's Get T-Shirts Saying That.

Sorority girl #1: What did he die from?
Sorority girl #2: Cancer.
Sorority girl #1: Gawd! Cancer sucks!

CVS
Charlottesville, Indiana

Posted on May 11, 2009
Death & dying, Default, Girls, Indiana, Maladies, Questions, Sorority types, Stores, Words

Sweetie, I'm a Bottom.

Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it?
Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it?
Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm…

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Kole

Posted on April 24, 2009
Asians, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Indiana, Pop culture, Queers, Questions