Six-year-old girl: Are you doing your job?
Lifeguard: Are you drowning?
Six-year-old girl: No.
Lifeguard: Then I'm doing my job.
Kiddie Pool
Great Neck, New York
Six-year-old girl: Are you doing your job?
Lifeguard: Are you drowning?
Six-year-old girl: No.
Lifeguard: Then I'm doing my job.
Kiddie Pool
Great Neck, New York
Little girl: He's drunk, I swear!
Teenage sister: He's not drunk, he's a foreigner.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Two-year-old boy, admiring his hands instead of the alligators: Look, Dad — look at my nails!
Grimacing father: Yes, yes… Your mother is to blame for that.
Atlanta Zoo
Georgia
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Four-year-old boy to group of mothers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, excited: I just peed standing up!
Boy's father: That's not something we tell people!
Children's Room, Katonah Library
Katonah, New York
Overheard by: amused librarian
Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?
Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: Ldawg
School counselor, trying to get kids to guess a career: This person might work in fashion, or decorate houses…
Fourth grader: A gay guy!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Little girl reaches towards a sheep as it poops.
Little boy: Nooo! Stop! Don’t touch those raisinets! You can’t eat a sheep’s raisinets!
Birmingham Zoo
Alabama
Four-year-old ballerina #1: I need to ask my mom.
Four-year-old ballerina #2: That’s good, because my house is crap.
Pre-ballerina: Well, it’s not crap — we just have a lot of crap in it.
Four-year-old ballerina #1: Can I come over to your place and play?
Dance studio
Maryland
Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It’s like a little house where I’ll always be protected.
Renaissance Festival
Maryland
Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey
