Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid's face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can't lay down on the floor.
Portland, Maine
Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!
Westport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.
Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana
Mother pushing stroller with three small boys at her side: Your brother asked you a question. Now answer it or stop talking!
Valley Fair
Shakopee, Minnesota
Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/mom-im-nine-and-even-i-know-that-sounds.html
Overheard by: academia
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don't wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I'm like “no bitch, I don't even have a license yet.” We're thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Teenage guy to another: Didn't they want to name their kid something weird, like “question mark?”
Brighton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: L-Dawg
Guy: So how's it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He's stuck with me.
Guy: You're like a virus.
Girl: No, I'm more like something good you can't shake. Like a baby.
Derby, Connecticut
