Mom to toddler girl: What fish should we get today? Salmon or tilapia or flounder?
Toddler girl: Is that “flounder” like in Little Mermaid?
Mom: Well, it's a fish, like flounder was.
Toddler girl: I want to eat flounder! Let's cook him. Mommy, can we eat Nemo too?
Costco
Fairfax, Virginia
Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said “screw it!” and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Dazeys
Film GTA: Will Farrell is the Groucho Marx of our generation.
Student: (nods wearily)
Film GTA: I mean, Talladega Nights was absolute genius!
University of Kansas
Lawrence, Kansas
Daughter at video store: What about this one, mom?
Mom: You pick crap! I'm getting you an animated movie!
Rodanthe, North Carolina
Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.
Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia
Overheard by: Kat
Girl on phone: Oh my god, I seriously didn't think anyone could act like that unless they were on something! (pause) I know! He was slurring his speech, staggering all over the place, and talking about Romeo and Juliet!
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: one of these things is not like the other…
Teacher: Who lived at Monticello?
Student: Darth Vader!
History Classroom
Idaho
Male student: Brokeback Mountain was a good movie. Did you see it?
Female student: No. I heard it was sad. I don't really want to be sad.
Male student: It was pretty sad…but you know, like *good* sad. Like, Titanic sad.
Female student: Yeah?
Male student: Yeah. It basically was Titanic, except instead of a boat, it was a horse.
Female student: Huh. Maybe I *will* see it.
Southern California
