Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”
Raleigh, North Carolina
Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”
Raleigh, North Carolina
Professor, going over syllabus: Because of schedule changes, the apocalypse will be postponed.
Seminary classroom
North Carolina
Overheard by: good, that gives me another week
Mormon-looking hick teen: (holds up shirt and looks at his mother)
Hick mom: Gawd, no! That is Satan's shirt!
Wilmington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amy
Little kid in leather jacket to random man lighting cigarette: Nooo! Stop! Poison! I am too rich to die!
North Carolina
Drunk girl: I went to the University of Alabama, so you don’t have to tell me about sex.
Sammy’s
Raleigh, North Carolina
Guy: So, it's like, there's ski equipment strewn everywhere on the ground. I wrote a story about it, with descriptions and metaphors and shit.
Boone, North Carolina
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Guy: But I hate wearing condoms! I can’t feel anything. I might as well put my dick in a cereal box.
Girl: I think my vagina is a bit different from a cereal box.
Dude, excitedly: If your vagina had cereal in it, I’d eat you out all the time!
Davidson, North Carolina
Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Caroline
Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
