Offers and requests

How Do You Think the Lollipop Guild Got Their Name?

Girl #1: So my computer is dead, and I don't know how to fix it.
Girl #2: What do you think is wrong with it?
Girl #1: It's got a virus. But it was totally worth it.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Girl #1: Well, Mary* and I were curious and wanted to know if midgets' dicks are normal-sized or midget-sized, so we were looking up midget porn.
Girl #2: And the verdict is?
Girl #1: They're normal-sized. This one guy was seriously a tripod. It's incredible.
Male bartender: Yeah, I can see how that would be worth a completely devastating virus on your computer. Can you write down the website you found it on?

Killarney's Pub
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Christopher Walken Has a Fever Again

Man walking into coffee shop: I need some pantyhose, stat!

Muddy Waters Coffee Shop
Burlington, Vermont

…Now That We've Invented These Little Wagons for Them.

Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Aren't You Wendy from Season One?

Barista #1: Yeah, Joey does a great Tim Gunn impression. You should ask him to do it for you.
Barista #2: I will. So you really like Project Runway?
Barista #1: Oh my god, yes! Like, I should totally be on that show.
Barista #2: Yeah? Do you do fashion design?
Barista #1: Well, no. But I dress myself really well. And I have really good ideas. But I can't really sew or anything.

Starbucks
Fairborn, Ohio

Overheard by: Barista #3

Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life

Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor's boys my boobs so they'd give me candy? Bet you're glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that's changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur's night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Jesus Was to Vex Mary His Entire Life

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

And P.S.- You Might Want to Wash Your Face

Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.

University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa

Judge the Germans.

Mother: Where's Germany?
Daughter: There. (points it out on map)
Mother: That's not Germany! That's Germany! (points to Africa)
Daughter: What? Mom, that's Africa. (points to Germany again) This is Germany. And this is Europe…
Mom: Oh.
Daughter: Holy shit, mom.
Mom: Don't judge me!

Renton, Washington

Why Says Canadians Are Boring and Dry?

Girl: Don't have sex on the couch!
Guy: Why not? You can have sex on the couch, I don't mind.
Girl: Mhh, you wouldn't like that. I'm a fountain.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/17/shes-in-justin-timberlakes-new-music-video-for-climax-me-a-river/

Overheard by: aylmer

Though I've Always Found the Growling Very Alluring

Plain Jane: Finish eating, so we can go outside!
Goth girl: Quit bossing me around! I just got out of line five minutes ago; it's not my fault that it's 12:45 and I've only eaten half of my lunch!
Popular boy to goth girl: I don't think I've ever heard you speak before.

School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas

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