Nobody Expects a Gay Guy to Carry a Speculum

Gay guy: Give me a sip of your drink!
Girl: No!
Gay guy: Give me a sip or I'll bite your cervix!

Military College
Georgia

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on June 23, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Girls, Offers and requests, Queers, Threats, Violence

Only a Good Friend Would Say That, Stacy

Sad girl: So we broke up and I started crying, and I told him to leave and he was like “can we still watch Star Wars?”
Short haired girl: It's not even that good a movie!

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Amused

Posted on May 29, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Movies, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Relationships

Kirk Cameron: “No.”

Student in library: Could you forget that Jesus died for your sins for like five minutes?

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Posted on May 24, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Jesus, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Students

What With Original Sin and So Forth

Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on May 20, 2010
Dads, Family, Fears, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Parenting

Says She Needs the Practice

Elderly woman to friends: Oh, she's lovely, she even offered to sleep in the coffin!

Cambridge
England

Posted on April 17, 2010
Death & dying, England, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Women

Um, Why Is the Horn Down Your Pants?

Bus driver: So, I heard the last 9 bus was full and a lot of you had to wait for this one. If you're angry about it, you can honk this bus' horn. Really. I don't want you leaving here mad at Bloomington transit.

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Honked the Horn

Posted on March 20, 2010
Bus drivers, Indiana, Offers and requests, Public transportation

Can and Will

Orchestra director to French horn player: Can you just stick your fist up in there?

Luther College
Decorah, Iowa

Overheard by: percussionist who snorted like a 12-year-old

Posted on February 22, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Iowa, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Right Now, Looks Like It's All in Your Hair.

Director to actress playing Johanna in Sweeney Todd: I just want to see a little spunk on your face.

Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: CarvingMyNiche

Posted on February 9, 2010
Bosses, Cum, Nevada, Offers and requests, Women, Words

Why the Gays Should Run the World

Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: Now, ladies, I am impressed with your Louis Vuitton and your coach. I adore your Prada and your Gucci. They are beautiful. But I will be more impressed with all of your bags if you stow them under the seat while we are landing. Now sit back and shut up.
(five minutes later, while plane is taxiing)
Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: We are finally here. So please, exit the plane a lot quicker than you boarded it. (plane stops, parks at gate) Get out.

Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 30, 2010
Airports & flights, Compliments, Fashion, Flight attendants, Grumpies, Illinois, Offers and requests, Queers

Tonight's Movie: Drunkventures in Babysitting

Young mother on phone: Well, tell him if he's going to stay home and get drunk by himself then he can babysit for me.

Wisconsin

Overheard by: smirkburglar

Posted on January 23, 2010
Drinking & drunks, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the phone, Parenting, Wisconsin

Offers and requests