Well, We Will Be Running Around in Diapers Before We Know It.

Older woman: Want to go see the movie Babies tonight at 7:30?
Older man: Mmmmmmmmmmmm…
Older woman: It's too late for it to inspire us!

Coffee Shop
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Greg

Posted on August 2, 2010
Georgia, Kids, Movies, Offers and requests, Old folks, Pregnancy, Stores

The Male Equivalent Of the Old Menstrual Cramps Excuse

Mother: Take off your backpack and put it on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mother: Put your backpack on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No! It will hurt my balls.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 26, 2010
Balls, Canadia, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting

…So I'll Steal Your Wallet Respectfully.

Hobo: Can I ask for a favor?
Man: Not today, mate (walks away)
Hobo, muttering: Well, at least you're honest.

Outside Mall
West Australia

Posted on July 14, 2010
Australia, Comebacks, Guys, Hobos, Malls, Offers and requests

…And 36C.

Girl selling coffee: Do you want sugar in this?
Guy buying coffee: How big are your cups?
Girl selling coffee, face turning red: That's a bit personal!

Scotland

Overheard by: somedaftlassie

Posted on June 25, 2010
Customers, Employees, Food, Offers and requests, Questions, Rack, Scotland, Undies

Nobody Expects a Gay Guy to Carry a Speculum

Gay guy: Give me a sip of your drink!
Girl: No!
Gay guy: Give me a sip or I'll bite your cervix!

Military College
Georgia

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on June 23, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Girls, Offers and requests, Queers, Threats, Violence

Only a Good Friend Would Say That, Stacy

Sad girl: So we broke up and I started crying, and I told him to leave and he was like “can we still watch Star Wars?”
Short haired girl: It's not even that good a movie!

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Amused

Posted on May 29, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Movies, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Relationships

Kirk Cameron: “No.”

Student in library: Could you forget that Jesus died for your sins for like five minutes?

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Posted on May 24, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Jesus, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Students

What With Original Sin and So Forth

Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on May 20, 2010
Dads, Family, Fears, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Parenting

Says She Needs the Practice

Elderly woman to friends: Oh, she's lovely, she even offered to sleep in the coffin!

Cambridge
England

Posted on April 17, 2010
Death & dying, England, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Women

Um, Why Is the Horn Down Your Pants?

Bus driver: So, I heard the last 9 bus was full and a lot of you had to wait for this one. If you're angry about it, you can honk this bus' horn. Really. I don't want you leaving here mad at Bloomington transit.

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Honked the Horn

Posted on March 20, 2010
Bus drivers, Indiana, Offers and requests, Public transportation

Offers and requests