Kid: Can we go yet? Why are we shopping for luggage here, anyway?
Mom: Because I'm leaving your father.
Department Store
Altamonte Springs, Florida
Overheard by: Voip
Kid: Can we go yet? Why are we shopping for luggage here, anyway?
Mom: Because I'm leaving your father.
Department Store
Altamonte Springs, Florida
Overheard by: Voip
Toddler being towed by mom, bawling: But I want that to be my surprise now!
Convenience Store
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Tyrone
New Yorker: Yo, gimme $30 on pump #2, a pack of Newports…and this banana.
Pembroke Pines, Florida
Overheard by: Inspectaneck
Bar patron to chick: Hey, come here one second.
Chick: What?
Bar patron: Would you say I'm hideous?
Chick: So-so…
Ship & Anchor
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Lenovskyvich
Woman in cell phone store: I want to change the billing name on this account.
Employee: I'm sorry, we can't allow you to make changes on this account. You're not the primary account-holder.
Woman: Right. The primary account holder died.
Employee: I'm sorry, only the primary account-holder can make changes to the account.
Woman: He's dead!
Verizon Store
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Man getting into car to dog barking wildly: No, you can't come. You have to stay home with mommy!
Westchester County, New York
(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!
Zoo
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Sarah.
Employee: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Ghetto kid: Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Marijuana Horticulture.
Employee: Yeah, I know that book. I think we are out, though.
Bookstore
Stockton, California
Overheard by: Can I get some of that?
Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!
Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Erica
Mom: Honey, don't eat your boogers!
Two-year-old: But mommy, I like them!
Mom, exasperated: Go to your dad.
Supermarket
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ryskie
