Is This the Best I'm Ever Gonna Look?

Sad-looking girl on cell: I'm trying my hardest to be pretty… I'm at the gym, like, every day!

Washington, DC

Posted on November 2, 2016
Beauty, Diet & weight, Girls, On the phone, Washington, DC

The Perils Of Undercooked Turducken

Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin' up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.

Louisiana

Overheard by: 2 tables over

Posted on September 29, 2016
Ass, Birds, Food, Guys, Louisiana, On the phone

Oh, Jeff Goldblum — No You Don’t

Man on cell: I know she just thinks I’m this creepy guy, but I know better.

YMCA
Cary, North Carolina

Posted on August 23, 2016
Gossip, North Carolina, On the phone, YMCA

…As Expressly Stated in the Terms Of My Employment.

Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!

University of Florida

Posted on August 20, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Florida, Food, Gifts, Girls, Insults, On the phone

A Credo We Enforce with Artillery

Girl on cell: If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for Texas.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/04/new-state-slogan.html

Posted on August 18, 2016
Eavesdrop DC, On the phone, Philosophy

And My Analyst Will Hold You While I Do So

Man on cell: I've never shown hostility towards women, but if you ever call that transvestite my mother, I will beat you senseless.

Savannah, Georgia

Posted on July 8, 2016
Family ties, Gender issues, Georgia, Guys, On the phone, Parenting, Threats, Violence

…As Is Jewish Custom.

20-something girl on cell: She washed all the fruit before putting it into the bowl. (pause) We're gonna need a medium-sized male stripper to go along with it, also.

NJ Transit
New Jersey

Posted on June 27, 2016
Fruit, New Jersey, On the phone, Sexuality

Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…

New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?

Train
Dublin
Ireland

Posted on June 12, 2016
Compare and contrast, Couples, Feelings, Foreigners, Hands, Health & Hygiene, Ireland, Money, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Train

Janine Began to Regret Taking the Housekeeping Job at the Nunnery

Hot girl on cell: Um, why were your boxers in the bathroom trash can this morning? Okay, well, from now on throw them away in the dumpster and maybe, I don't know, wipe before you decide to do lunges?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/365149695/nothing-i-could-know-about-this-guy-would-redeem-him.html

Overheard by: you could do better

Posted on June 8, 2016
Advice, Clothes, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Weirdness

That's What You Said When You Gave Him Syphilis

Girl on phone: He says that we can't be together because it bothers him that we're cousins, and we were intimate. I think it's because doctors are more sensitive to that kind of thing than the rest of us.

Train, New Jersey

Overheard by: NoNoK

Posted on March 13, 2016
Default, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, New Jersey, On the phone, Sexuality, Train

On the phone