As Long As You Don’t Lie in the Same Bed Together, It’s All Good

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Posted on April 26, 2019
Books, Guys, North Carolina, Offspring, Parenting, Questions, Religion, Restaurants, Violence

It Takes a Gag Reflex to Raise a Child Never Made It to the Best-Seller List

Flustered mother to screaming toddler: Stop that shouting, or I'll be sick on you!
(toddler shuts up abruptly)

Leeds
England

Overheard by: Magpie

Posted on April 14, 2019
England, Moms, Offspring, Parenting, Threats

The Same Reason I Snort the Pretty White Dust

(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.

Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 30, 2019
Default, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Restaurants

With the Paper Bag on His Head?

Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Posted on February 11, 2019
California, Girls, Parenting, Pregnancy, Race, Sexuality

My Dad Kept Telling People to Kill Me

Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.

Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 5, 2019
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Family ties, Murder, Parenting, Pennsylvania, Students, Stupidity, Wishes

Woody Allen Was Pretty Much the Same As a Kid

Three-year-old to mom on bus: Mom, can you show me how to play my dvd?
Mom: Sure. Why are you asking me now?
Three-year-old: In case.
Mom: In case? In case of what?
Three-year-old, matter of factly: In case you die.

Madrid
Spain

Posted on January 30, 2019
Death & dying, Moms, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Spain, Technology

Okay, So It Was Technically an Abortion, But Same Principle

Mom to daughter, wandering off: No, come back here, I don't want to lose you in the store. I already lost one of my kids that way, and that's enough.

Dollar Store
Sept-Îles
Canadia

Posted on January 8, 2019
Canadia, Girls, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Stores

Good to See a Family Do Things Together

Little boy to younger brother: I'm 'bout to choke you!
Mother, to all children: I'm 'bout to choke all y'all!
Little boy: Together, mama?
Mother: Together.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Jessica