Parenting

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?

Fresno, California

3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.

Gilroy, California

Overheard by: just a cart pusher

Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html

Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Flustered mother to screaming toddler: Stop that shouting, or I'll be sick on you!
(toddler shuts up abruptly)

Leeds
England

Overheard by: Magpie

(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.

Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois

Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.

Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania

Three-year-old to mom on bus: Mom, can you show me how to play my dvd?
Mom: Sure. Why are you asking me now?
Three-year-old: In case.
Mom: In case? In case of what?
Three-year-old, matter of factly: In case you die.

Madrid
Spain