Parenting

Drunk aboriginal man to drunk friends: I just got out of jail. My mum's been crying for me, my dog's been praying for me, my uncle Bob's been praying for me, all to get me back to Narrogin. I tell you, I'm the king of that town.

Fremantle
Australia

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?

Fresno, California

3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.

Gilroy, California

Overheard by: just a cart pusher

Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html

Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Flustered mother to screaming toddler: Stop that shouting, or I'll be sick on you!
(toddler shuts up abruptly)

Leeds
England

Overheard by: Magpie

(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.

Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois

Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee