And Welcome to Your Career

Mother handing son bag of groceries: Here you go.
Son: Me?
Mother: Yes, you, silly.
Son, pouting: But I’m special.
Mother: No, you’re not.

Publix
Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ali

Posted on October 1, 2019
Florida, Moms, Parenting, Should have used a condom

I’ve Got Theft Insurance on You

Mom, yelling to small boy as he wanders towards street performer: Fine, if that’s what you want, get stolen!

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on September 18, 2019
Canadia, Crimes, Moms, Parenting

Um, Isn't That a Burger King Crown?

Drunk aboriginal man to drunk friends: I just got out of jail. My mum's been crying for me, my dog's been praying for me, my uncle Bob's been praying for me, all to get me back to Narrogin. I tell you, I'm the king of that town.

Fremantle
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2019
Animals, Australia, Crimes, Drunks, Family ties, Feelings, Friends, Parenting

Also, I'm Having Company Tonight, So You'll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

Posted on July 6, 2019
Assholes, Candy, Dads, Europe, Kids, Parenting, Questions, Train, Wishes

How the Woodland Park Zoo Became a Disco Inferno

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

Posted on June 30, 2019
Default, Insults, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Smoking, Threats, Tourist attractions, Washington

And Can You Wear Your Leather Pants Again?

(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?

Fresno, California

Posted on June 16, 2019
California, Default, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Threats, Toys, Violence

They Grow Up So Fast

3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.

Gilroy, California

Overheard by: just a cart pusher

Posted on May 10, 2019
California, Kids, Moms, Money, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Weirdness, Wishes

This Is What Fun Is, Son.

Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html

Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.