Penis

Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!

Maine

Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath

Disembodied male voice from next door: And I was like, “hey, do you wanna see my circumcision scar?”

Sitka, Alaska

Overheard by: Hailey

Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!

Red Line Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Teen boy #1: Dude, you enlarged your penis with that thing?!
Teen boy #2: Yeah, like five inches.

Washington, DC

Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.

Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee

Very drunk 20-something guy: Honestly, I get a pulse in my dick when I talk to you. I'm going to fuck you tonight.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman: Oh yeah?
Very drunk 20-something guy: I'm so hard right now… Have a feel.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman, grabbing hold of his crotch: You're totally flaccid.
(very drunk 20-something bursts into hysterical laughter)

Nightclub
Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Concerned guy: So, were you wearing a loincloth?
Friend: See, that's the thing, I don't know.

Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Guy in wife beater on phone: She said my dick was just too long.

Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Guy at the end of the very long line to men's room: Man, it's like the line to Space Mountain. Except when you get to the end you have your dick in your hand.

Festival of Ales
Worcester, Massachusetts