Certainly, Sir. May I See Your Penis Pilot’s License?

Male customer: Do you have any more of those flying penises?

New Hope, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: wait…whaaaat?!

Posted on March 4, 2016
Customers, Penis, Pennsylvania, Questions

Also, I Keep Tripping Over It.

Man to himself: I will never be able to satisfy a woman because my penis is mounted to low on my body. Damn German genes!

Dallas, Texas

Posted on February 19, 2016
Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Sex, Texas

Bottom Line: We're Having Six More Weeks of Winter

Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)

Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cate

Posted on February 16, 2016
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Penis, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

Mostly Because My Mouth Is Full of Flaccid Flesh

Guy to friend: What you should've said was, “Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!”

Decatur, Georgia

Posted on February 15, 2016
Advice, Compare and contrast, Default, Erections, Friends, Georgia, Guys, Penis

But, in the Future, Please Confine Your Questions to Topics in English Literature

Professor: And so in REM sleep you'll get penile erection and vaginal lubrication. You know, the fun stuff. (class laughs) Well, your eyes aren't the only things that are moving!

York University
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: studious student

Posted on January 18, 2016
Canadia, Education, Penis, Sex, Teachers, Vagina

“Little Bishop” Would Also Have Been Acceptable

12-year-old son: Owww! My penis! My penis! She hit me in the penis!
Mom: Please stop yelling that! We’re in public!
12-year-old son: But that’s the scientific word for it, Mom.
Mom: I understand, but not everyone appreciates hearing that word in public.
12-year-old son: Okay. Owww! My jimmy! My jimmy! She hit me in my jimmy!

Pet aisle, Wal-Mart
North Carolina

Posted on January 13, 2016
North Carolina, Penis, Should have used a condom, Words

…of the Coach’s Ass

Guy: Yeah, I got disqualified from long jump because my dick fell out.

Track Meet
Broadalbin Perth, New York

Posted on December 2, 2015
Default, Guys, New York, Penis, Weirdness

Why They Were Kicked Out Of the National History Museum

Gay guy, gesturing at transvestite performing onstage: I don't want to see any more boobs. Show me the dicks!
Gay friends, approving: We want dicks!

DNA Lounge
San Francisco, California

Posted on November 14, 2015
Default, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Penis, Queers, San Francisco, Sexuality

Is That the Best Way to Take the Moral High Ground?

Woman #1: So, you think he is?
Woman #2: No, you don't really think he is?
Woman #3: Hell, yes! I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/hide-your-pet-rabbits-gentlemen.html

Overheard by: Jon

Posted on November 7, 2015
Default, Eavesdrop DC, Infidelity, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness, Women

Sometimes the Tooth Fairy Makes Extra Special Visits

Boy standing in line for smoothie: That better not be sparkle lips gloss.
Girl standing with him, applying lip gloss: It is, but it has like too many sparkles.
Boy: That's even worse! (pause) My one friend woke up with a ring of sparkles around his… well, you know…

University Fair
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: ashley

Posted on October 27, 2015
BJs, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Fashion, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis