College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.
Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things “pop up” unexpectedly.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Angelica Burns
Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.
Connecticut
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I've got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one letter away from making me a very happy woman.
Girl #2: I was one letter away from making myself a very happy woman. If I had that, I'd go fuck myself.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Girl to guy: What's so safe and innocent about my lips glued to your penis?
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Spence
Girl watching Christian Bale in The Dark Knight: If I had a cock I'd so fuck him in the mouth.
Racine, Wisconsin
Hipster, gesturing: … And his flaccid dick was as big as my forearm!
Olive Street overpass
Seattle, Washington
