Penis

Female law student #1: You don't have to know that. You can just 69 it.
Female law student #2: Wait… What?
Female law student #1: You know, 69 it. Get rid of it.
Female law student #2: No honey, it's “86” it. That thing you said is something dirty.

Mississippi College School of Law

Drunk guy to friends: Do you know what time it is? It’s dick-slapping time!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Kari

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.

UC
Berkeley, California

Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things “pop up” unexpectedly.

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Angelica Burns

Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.

Connecticut

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I've got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one letter away from making me a very happy woman.
Girl #2: I was one letter away from making myself a very happy woman. If I had that, I'd go fuck myself.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Girl to guy: What's so safe and innocent about my lips glued to your penis?

Cleveland Heights, Ohio

Overheard by: Spence

Girl watching Christian Bale in The Dark Knight: If I had a cock I'd so fuck him in the mouth.

Racine, Wisconsin