Tough guy who waxes his eyebrows: Yeah, my old girlfriend was smart. She didn't let me take any pictures or videotape her while we were fucking. This new chick…if she's ever famous, I'm rich!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Tough guy who waxes his eyebrows: Yeah, my old girlfriend was smart. She didn't let me take any pictures or videotape her while we were fucking. This new chick…if she's ever famous, I'm rich!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Quazarfreez
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?
Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ho Lexington III
Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I’ll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3 Hipsters
Annoying teen #1, looking at trashy magazine: She's cute.
Annoying teen #2: That's Jessica Simpson.
Annoying teen #1: Well, she looks good red-headed and with her mouth open.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Giggling quietly in the pharmacy sectino
Girl to friend: Which would you rather die first, the dog or your dad?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Queer: I love my boyfriend, but I really think he might be a shapeshifter.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I’m a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You’re my favorite.
Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
