Is the Range of Gay Sex Really That Limited?

Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.

Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: $kank

Posted on July 9, 2015
Advice, Backdoor, Compliments, Default, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Queers, Questions, Words

At Least There's No Violin Shortage

Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?

Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ho Lexington III

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bringing it back to you, Customers, Employees, Food, Pennsylvania, Restaurants, Stupidity

That, and When Oprah Appeared to Me in a Popsicle

Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I’ll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: 3 Hipsters

Posted on July 6, 2015
Hipsters, Homeless, Pennsylvania, Threats

That's Only 'Cause You Can't Hear Her

Annoying teen #1, looking at trashy magazine: She's cute.
Annoying teen #2: That's Jessica Simpson.
Annoying teen #1: Well, she looks good red-headed and with her mouth open.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Giggling quietly in the pharmacy sectino

Posted on July 5, 2015
About celebrities, Beauty, Default, Hair, Mouth, Pennsylvania, Teens

The New Party Game That's Sweeping Pennsylvania!

Girl to friend: Which would you rather die first, the dog or your dad?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 5, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions

He and the Cat Have Never Been in a Room at the Same Time

Queer: I love my boyfriend, but I really think he might be a shapeshifter.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 4, 2015
Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Queers

The Only Japanese She Knows Involves Gummy Candies

Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I’m a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You’re my favorite.

Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 4, 2015
Chicks, Pennsylvania, US Geography

But Play-Doh, If Eaten, Can Become Poop

Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.

Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 3, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Kids, Moms, Pennsylvania, Poop, Toys

Otherwise the Natural Process Of Erosion Will Take Care Of It

Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 2, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Students, Words

The Right Is Soon-Yi

Girl: My left toenail is totally MIA.

Reading, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 1, 2015
Body parts, Girls, Music, Pennsylvania