Bus driver: So, I heard the last 9 bus was full and a lot of you had to wait for this one. If you're angry about it, you can honk this bus' horn. Really. I don't want you leaving here mad at Bloomington transit.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Honked the Horn
Conductor, at the end of introductory speech: And, ladies and gentlemen, in the event of an emergency… you all know what to do.
Train
St. Louis, Missouri
Train operator: Orange line to Vienna. If you are on the platform, you better hurry up. Cause I'm not going to let you slow me down.
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Reject
Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: NeededSome
Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.
Hospital
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: yooo
Old lady to female bus driver: I need to get laid.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: exactly
Gate attendant over PA: This is the final boarding call for Singapore Airlines flight 123.
(announcement is repeated several times over there)
Different voice, over pa: Singapore airlines, could you please not make so many announcements?
Airport
San Francisco, California
Girl to teacher, about Underground Railroad: Wait… didn't the white people hear the train go by?
High School
Clark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sweeney
Pilot standing at door to plane after pulling into gate: Shit! I totally didn't mean to park here!
Airport
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Drunk bus rider #1: Damn, this bus is always so slow!
Drunk bus rider #2: I swear, if I was a wizard, I would turn this bus into a rabbit… But that's fantasy stuff, and I'm not that into fantasy.
Seattle, Washington
