Questions

No Wonder I Keep Passing Out!

Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm… 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something?

Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts

But I Can Always Use an Extra Set Of Eyes

Teen girl #1, drawing faces on napkins with sharpies: Look! I named this one Mr Toastpuff!
Teen girl #2: Wonderful.
Teen girl #1: He's my best friend!
Teen girl #2: You replaced me with a napkin?
Teen girl #1: Well, you replaced me with a potato!
Teen girl #2: True…

Birmingham, Alabama

Just Don't Let Me Come Home Without Them This Time

Hot girl #1: Have you decided what you're wearing tonight?
Hot girl #2: Pants.

Concord Pike
Wilminton, Delaware

But How Do You Feel About It?

Gossip girl #1: Oh my god! Did I tell you that I got accepted for my exchange to Paris next year? I'm going second semester.
Gossip girl #2: Oh my god! That's amazing!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm really excited.
Gossip girl #2: That's so exciting!
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, it's gonna be amazing.
Gossip girl #2: That is so amazing.
Gossip girl #1: Yeah, I'm super excited!
Gossip girl #2: That is just so exciting!

VIA Train
Montreal to Toronto

Overheard by: The zoe

I Was All, “But I'm Texting You!”

Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!

Starbuck's
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Homer Simpson: Mmm, Sacrelicious…

Teen girl to friend: You know what I wanna do? Smoke a joint rolled in a page from the bible.

McDonald's
Ohio

Overheard by: Dylan

I'm Sure I Could Learn to Vacuum in Pearls

20-something girl, to friend: So I was reading in my magazine the other day that only 60% of American women work outside the home. I mean, that is really sad. Why can't I be part of the other 40%?

Appleton, Wisconsin

Or When You Pull the Tampons Out Of Your Butt?

Gay boy to girl posse, seeing commercial for panty liners with extra sticking power: So, like, doesn't it hurt when they stick to your vag?

Fargo, North Dakota

We Imagine Steve Martin in This Role

Dentist instructing dental students: And if it's your first time doing a certain procedure, don't tell the patient. Just do it without them knowing it's your first time. Don't ask them, 'cause they'll probably say no. It's just easier for everyone. (awkward pause) Am I the only one that does that?

Queensland
Australia

I Told You When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window

Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that’s something.

Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia

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