Drunk Texan to car with window open: Excuse me, where’s the nearest brothel?
Miller Park parking lot
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!
Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington
Coworker #1: I don’t even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don’t, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.
Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: also interested
Tipsy girl: You know what type of night it is? I’m wearing a leopard-print dress and leggings! It’s that type of night!
http://www.overheardatlc.blogspot.com/
Hipster girl pointing at piece of art: So, do you want to get it?
Hipster guy: Nah, we’ll get it somewhere else. I hate when people ask you, ‘Where did you get that?’ and you’re like, ‘Ikea…’
Ikea
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Chick to group preparing to light vodka on fire: How many times has setting alcohol on fire gone horribly wrong for us?
Guy: You’re right. That said, who has a camera?
Carleton University
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
