Teen girl #1: Are you doing it with her, too?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I'm totally gay for Meg* and her fuzzy unicorn shirt.
Teen girl #3, laughing and choking: I'm not suppose to die choking! I'm the only one who knows CPR!
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy: Hey, come sit over here.
Girl, taking seat: Why?
Guy: I farted.
Girl, remaining in seat: Oh, I don't care.
Guy: Goddamn it! Why are the girls we hang out with so cool?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Whiny man: I don't even know how to read. Why are we here?
Borders
California
Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.
Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Girl on cell inside convenience store: Why the hell did she get it under her titty? Ain't nobody gonna see it under her titty!
Bowling Green, Ohio
Guy: Do you know how I know you were singing correctly?
Girl: You saw me sucking in my stomach?
Guy: No. When you started spitting at me!
Girl: I can't help that I have great diction!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
Student: What would Elvis say?
Professor: What would Plato say?
Student: What would Butler say?
Campbell: What would Foucault say?
Girl in back row: All I know is he broke a table.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: elvis eavesdropper
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
